~  The Actors  ~
Part 2

"Welcome back," said Nicola, one eyebrow raised as if to say that she expected details. Well, she wouldn't get them from me. I don't kiss and tell. Except to you, dear reader. Names have been changed, by the way, to preserve the social standing of certain blowjob queens and sex-crazed fuck puppets. Shall we continue?

Sasha leaned up to my ear and gave the lobe a little nibble. "I'll give you an hour to recuperate," she whispered surreptitiously, "and then we go for round two." She slunk away into the dancing crowd. I went to find Zander. He was singing Led Zeppelin's Rock 'n' Roll in the karaoke living room. I joined in for the second chorus and then we stepped out the front door for a little privacy and a filial relating of recent social developments, not to mention a discussion of the specifics of how to settle our tied wager. I did have a certain dastardly scheme in mind and, as I'd hoped, that rascally brother o' mine was all for it. See, we're nice guys, but everything depends on your point of view. Besides, as long as we maintained secrecy, there'd be no harm done. What you don't know doesn't hurt you.

I bet you know where this is going. Yeah, of course you do. You've got a filthy mind, you little scamp. So, as you've probably guessed, Zander and I swapped shirts and hairstyles. (He sweeps his hair straight back, more or less, whereas I go for the tousled look. That aside, we're practically indistinguishable.) And then we stepped back inside to mingle and put our swapped identities to the test.

"There you are, Zander," said Nicola to me, and my heart leapt with glee as she had fallen for the switch. Just as quickly, though, my sentiment reversed. "You know, Suzy really likes you."

This I didn't need to hear and a little pang of worry sneaked into my gut - what if Zander and I shot to pieces something of real potential for him? - but I disciplined myself to ignore it. It just added a little extra pressure to ensure that things passed off smoothly, and I've always enjoyed pushing things to the limit.

'When's your brother going to join the company?" asked Nicola.

"Er, not sure. You'll have to ask him," I said, thrilling in the subterfuge and trying not to giggle (as I was fairly well stoned on the excellent pot I had brought).

"Cause Sasha seems quite taken," she continued. Was that a hint of challenge I detected? Couldn't be. That wouldn't make sense.

Would it?

"Well, I - uh - he, I mean, I'm sure he wouldn't want to cramp her style. I-uh-he likes her, but, you know, healthy distance and all that." Shit, this is difficult!

"I suppose. You clearly don't have any similar qualms though, do you now? I'm glad everybody's having so much fun in my house. God, I feel like such a pimp."

I seized the opportunity to chuckle good-naturedly and disappear before I gave the game away.

I couldn't see where Zander had gone, so I milled about the party for a while, chatting to the others and making superficial small talk. It was quite a feat to keep lines of conversation away from goings on at the drama group that Zander apparently knew all about, but of which I, naturally, knew bupkis. So whenever escape was necessary I told superb lies about myself, in the guise of my brother just being proud of his brother. Confused yet?

Upon a while Zander joined me and, to our barely disguised glee, nobody could tell us apart. It wasn't the first time we'd pulled this switched-identity stunt - remind me to tell you sometime how, at university, we used to write the same exam twice over two semesters, thus acquiring credits for each other without the other ever having to attend a lecture, or even open a book, much less write the damn exam. But for some reason this particular sneak was giving us an extra kick. Probably because, incredible as it may sound, we had never previously used this gambit to procure undue sex.

Undue sex. My, oh my, doesn't that sound illicitly appealing? Sounds quasi-legal too. You sir, stand accused of procuring undue sex. How do you plead? Guilty, m'lud! Shall I make restitution to the plaintiff? What, right here in court? Well, if the law requires it, m'lud...

Anyhoo, Zander had a little pot left (Sasha and I had finished mine off earlier) so we made our way through the kitchen, still teeming with drunken dancers, now singing along to Sweet Caroline, and out into the garden to savour some righteous Mary-Jane. And who should be chatting there but the object of our aggregated affection. The girls were having a private tete-à-tete, and turned to look very expectantly at us as we approached.

"Well, hello boys," said Suzy, eyes all afire upon me. Shouldn't she be looking that way at Zander? Oh wait, I am Zander at the moment.

"Hi, hon," I said, giving her a kiss and a hug.

"Calling me that already?" she remarked, in a semi-challenge.

"Oh, well..." I blushed, panicking wildly on the inside and forcing myself not to look at Zander. Sorry, bro!!

"Cause I don't mind," continued Suzy, reassuring both me and my brother.

I took up station behind her, arms wrapped around her navel. Zander was similarly positioned behind Sasha, who was tilting her head back for a kiss. I winked at my brother.

Suzy was leaning back against me and I was really enjoying her proximity. She was a similar build to Sasha, but about six inches taller, so her face was more or less right next to mine as we stood there. Her hair smelt of lavender, and it had the tousled I-just-got-laid appearance that generations of fathers have noted with such ire at their daughters' sweet sixteenths. I wondered if Sasha had told her - as I had Zander - of the unwitting audience she and my brother had had earlier whilst humping away in Nicola's bedroom.

"Apparently the linen closet makes a comfortable shagspot," said Suzy, thus answering my unspoken question, but I played dumb anyway.

"What do you mean?"

Zander snorted in ostensible amusement, playing along perfectly.

"I mean, dummy, that those two were in there having fun whilst we were in the bedroom. Having fun." She punctuated the last two words with a kiss on my cheek.

"I thought we smoked the last of your stash earlier," said Sasha to Zander, who was now rolling a spliff.

"I found some more," said Zander, improvising seamlessly.

"Zander's got a little bit left anyway," said Suzy, turning to me. "Don't you?"

"Er, I gave it to someone inside," I said, trying to think fast. "Can't quite remember who, actually. That tall guy?"

"Tom?"

"Um, not sure."

"Lawrence?"

"Finished!" said Zander, saving my ass. "Ladies first," he added, stuffing the joint judiciously into Suzy's mouth.

"Allow me," I said gallantly, sparking my Abbey Road Zippo, and grateful to Zander for the save.

"Oh, the twin brothers have matching Beatles lighters! Really corny, guys," said Sasha.

Actually, Zander's was Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

"That's so cute!" exclaimed Suzy, exhaling. "Let's see!"

"Uh, sure," said Zander, patting his pockets and playing for time so he could think up an exit strategy. "Oh, rats, it's gone. Must have slipped out of my pocket while we were fooling about in the, uh-"

Linen closet! Linen closet! I silently reminded him, with just a hint of panic.

"-linen closet."

"Speaking of which," murmured Sasha, "after we've smoked this, why don't we go for that round two we discussed earlier, and this time-" she put her mouth to Zander's ear and whispered the rest of her totally suggestive suggestion, then stepped back and dragged on the joint whilst watching Zander's reaction. The indulgent grin that spread across his face rendered further explanation wholly unnecessary.

"You know, you guys have identical smiles," said Suzy softly to me. "I wonder what else you do the same?"

"We both have highly discriminating taste in women," I murmured back. She sighed happily and kissed me.

Sasha, looking equally contented, smiled and leaned back against Zander. "Yes, you do."

*       *       *       *       *

"Flip a coin for the bedroom?" suggested Zander, pulling a shiny £2 piece from his pocket as we reached the top of the stairs.

Sasha giggled. "We call heads."

"Head is good," agreed my twin. "Green are the leaves, roses are red, get down on your knees, and give me some..."

The coin landed tails.

"Well, I had been hoping for a change of scenery," I remarked with a duplicitous hint of disappointment.

Suzy giggled. "Yes, you two can have the bedroom if you want." And without further ado, she yanked me back into the linen closet for the very first time.

*       *       *       *       *

Well, I thought Sasha was a wild woman (of course she is, believe me) but Suzy was an absolute dervish. Possibly because she looks a little bit pristine with her willowy limbs and cream cheese complexion, maybe that's why her sex drive took me so by surprise. Even though I'd practically had a front row seat to her last performance, I wasn't prepared for this. Sasha looks a little bit wild with her dreads and nose stud, so one kind of expects a sex machine when she gets naked. Getting it on with Suzy is like winning a church raffle and discovering that it's linked to the national lottery. Yow.

For a start, foreplay was barely desired, consisting more or less solely of us stripping each other clumsily in the tight confines of the little closet. She was already moist, which I discovered to great excitement as I ran a mischievous finger through her silken fur to her slit. This in turn got me hard very quickly. Her eyes flared open in anticipation as my cock sprang free from my boxers, and she immediately dropped to her knees (Sasha and I had deliberately left the towels strewn about the floor; planning ahead, you know) to wank me a couple of furious strokes, and then suck down hard with her paradoxically virginal-looking mouth. I couldn't help but gasp as I stood there, completely powerless in the grasp of this pristine little nymphet. I hadn't seen anything yet. My blowjob from heaven only lasted long enough for Suzy to be satisfied that there was a sufficient coating of her saliva and my lube around my cock. Then she stood up, turned around and presented her gorgeous fair ass to me. I reached for her hips, lost for words and operating purely on instinct. Even so, I wasn't moving quickly enough for this fuck phenomenon. She reached between her legs to spread her pussy lips with one hand, taking firm hold of my cock and pulling me forcefully into her with the other. Her cunt was slippery, warm and so tight. She braced herself against the shelves and started to buck against me. I reached underneath her to take hold of her bouncing breasts, but she commanded me to hold her hips, hold them hard, fuck fast and, yes ma'am, I obeyed. This was such a turn-on, I was in real danger of coming embarrassingly quickly. In desperation I turned my thoughts to the previous week's hockey match, but within seconds I was imagining getting my ass rubbed raw as Suzy fucked my brains out on the astroturf. I decided I had to change the tempo or Suzy wasn't going to get all the performance she was entitled to, so I slowed it right down, going for deep penetration, with a hard thrust at the end of each stroke. This clearly pushed a button somewhere deep within the velvety folds of the Suzy cooze, for now she started to pant and moan. This encouraged me greatly; I thought I might actually have a fighting chance of giving a reputable account of myself. "Fuck, yes," she breathed - such filthy language; you'd never have guessed to look at her! - "Fuck, fuck, aaaah!" She was starting to come now as I could feel tremors deep within her core. She reached her supple arm down between her legs again, this time to grasp my balls with her long fingers and hold them against her clitoral hood. To accommodate this position I switched from long slow strokes to short hard ones, grinding my crotch against her pussy and striving for depth - all of which brought me closer to my own explosive climax. Her orgasmic tremors became seismic shocks and I allowed myself to peak as well. The banshee wail that Sasha and I had heard earlier that evening returned as Suzy quaked before me, her lustful ass quivering in its involuntary manifestation of her internal sensation. I tightened my grip on her waist to support her as her strength was channelled into her orgasm, but as I came my own fortitude was dissipating as well. We collapsed in a spent heap on the floor, utterly fucked to a frazzle. Suzy ensured my cock was tucked snugly in her pussy, still trembling sporadically with the aftershocks of her orgasm, as we snuggled into a spoon position to bask in the afterglow.

*       *       *       *       *

When we eventually emerged from the closet, it was just past four a.m. and most of the partygoers had departed. A few people were drinking Irish coffees in the kitchen. There were a couple more lying on the grass outside, waiting for the first streaks of sunrise to blush the early morning sky. Suzy and I found Sasha and Zander sprawled on a sofa in the living room. We took the other one, me in the corner and Suzy nestling against my chest.

"So, did you boys have fun tonight?" asked Sasha airily.

"I know I did," said Zander, giving Sasha's knee a quick squeeze.

"How about you, Alex?"

"Absolutely," I replied drowsily, and sucked my breath in sharply as I woke up pronto. Zander had frozen too. Sasha and Suzy were looking at each other, eyes wide open, and then they looked at each of us, the Dastardly Deceivers, in turn.

Shit.

Were they smiling?

"I knew it!" exclaimed Suzy triumphantly. She didn't sound upset, which gave me cautious cause for optimism.

"You knew?" asked Zander weakly.

"Sure."

"Knew what?" asked our hostess Nicola, appearing in the doorway.

"Oh, nothing," said Sasha. "We're guessing their middle names."

"Suzy reckoned I was an Oscar," I said.

"Oh." Nicola, the biggest fount of social news this side of the Thames, didn't deem this to be tremendously gossip-worthy information, and wandered off again.

"You guys do deserve an Oscar, by the way," said Sasha, once our hostess was out of earshot.

"Um, we owe you an apology," mumbled Zander.

Suzy giggled. "Oh, it's no big deal."

"I'm really mortified," I said, and I think my cheeks were burning up.

"Don't be," reiterated Suzy. "We enjoyed it too."

"Er, good," said I, feeling somewhat relieved.

"How did you make us?" asked Zander. "Did we not get the hairdos right?"

"No," giggled Suzy. "You've obviously practised those."

"Oh, the Zippo thing, then. That was a slip up."

"Well, yes, I suppose it was," said Sasha, remembering, "but you covered it up well enough, and it didn't really matter by then anyway."

"Because?"

"Because," explained Sasha, "we'd already decide to do a little swap ourselves. Men aren't the only gender to enjoy sleeping around. Women just tend to be more picky in their partners."

"I like to think of it as ethical slutting," said Suzy, on the off-chance that further explanation were required.

"Ah," said Zander.

"So, even if we hadn't done the switch..?" (I felt I had to ask the question. Didn't I?)

"You could have asked nicely and we'd probably have got back to you with a yes."

"Or we'd have pretended to have been drunk and 'mistaken' your identities anyway."

There was a brief pause while Zander and I tried to figure out just who had been hoodwinking whom. Eventually I gave up. But there was something that needed explaining. "You haven't actually told us how you managed to tell us apart. For future reference, of course."

Sasha and Suzy shared a conspiratorial look that suggested Zander and I were about to learn something new about each other.

"You tell them," said Suzy.

Sasha flashed that wicked grin of hers. "You're both left-handed, right?"

"Right," said Zander.

"Are you both left-footed too?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Well, it figures. I mean, you're genetically identical."

Suzy giggled. Zander and I were both mystified.

"But you don't both curve to the left. So our guess is that one of you wanks right-handed."

Suzy was convulsed in laughter.

Zander and I looked at each other. Just when you think you know everything about a person!

"And luckily for you two, neither of us has a problem with that."

"Oh good."

"So now that you're no longer able to keep us guessing, we might be able to keep you... entertained."

"And you needn't worry - neither of us is looking for a boyfriend."

"But we're not averse to sharing our boy friends."

"Just so long as we can maintain a socially acceptable fa¸la;ade in front of some of our less liberated acquaintances," said Suzy, offering the first hint of seriousness in her personality. "My law firm may not look too favourably upon partner swapping."

I had a feeling Zander and I were in deep trouble. Talk about meeting your match.

"Actually, there is one problem after all," I ventured.

"What's that?"

"Nicola now thinks that Oscar is Zander's middle name."

"Better not let her see your driver's licences, then."

"Or passports."

"Or credit cards."

"You know, I'm beginning to think this deception isn't worth the trouble."

"Sorry, you're locked in now. We like role playing."

~  Fin  ~

© Basil von Geusau 2007

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